On Drinking: in 115 Degree Heat

When the mercury is up, choices are pared down

Emerging consensus is that July, 2023 is the hottest we’ve achieved in the modern era. Rather than serve up more Anthropocene-driven eco-anxiety (I’ve seen a lot of authors out there doing it much better), here is the authoritative [subjective] ranking of the most refreshing alcoholic drinks when it’s too damn hot. Let me help rearrange some deck chairs for you on our unsinkable ocean liner Earth.

An unrelated, undated photograph

You can’t drink a lot in these temperatures, so you should make it count

The best hot weather drinks keep the ABV high while delivering that elusive sense of refreshment (and all seem to require lime).

1. the Paloma (superior to the margarita, owing to the inclusion of grapefruit)

2. the Daquiri (a real one, add maraschino liquor to get more ABV in there)

3. the Gin and Tonic*

*This one has a caveat. For the gin and tonic to work in high heat, it needs to be one of those Eataly rooftop-style aberrations—basically served in a stemmed fishbowl with lots of aromatics floating around.

4. the Ti Punch

I could have chosen any number of other rum drinks for number 4, but I’ve been coming back to the Ti Punch quite a bit. It’s stripped down to the essentials and designed to highlight the quality of the spirit. I build this one in a Koizol Club No. 4 shatterproof Superglas and take it directly into the pool.

This version riffs on the one featured in Smuggler’s Cove. In the classic version, demarara sugar is used to prepare a syrup, which is then paired with Martinique Rhum and a quarter hunk of lime. Everything you need.

An indispensable, ruinously informative guidebook

My version uses the Demarara syrup recipe and preparation above, with two differences. It swaps Martinique Rhum out for Haiti’s Rhum Barbancourt and I build it over ice (it’s over 100 out there and you want it to stay cold for the short amount of time you’re drinking it).

43% ABV, sugarcane distilled and aged in French oak barrels for 8 years - you could really just drink it on its own

Suggested timings: you can probably have 2 in the pool for a hazy afternoon, or a bracing double as the sun is going down (while you try to figure out if anyone remembers/agrees on how to play dominos).

1 tsp. demarara syrup + 2 oz. rhum (combine over ice), finish with hunk of lime

Iceberg dead ahead.

Conductor: “…it’s been a privilege playing with you...” Me: “No glass by the pool, please.”